Almost Every Morning

Almost every morning I wake up in the dark itching to open my laptop and write.  Of course, I do open the lid but I don’t write.  I take the easy way out and click to Facebook, catching up on status updates from my 725 friends, I read articles, I find my way over the Twitter and sometimes I even open my blog and reread some of my recent posts but I don’t begin a new one.


Maybe because what I have in the center of my mind is Tuvia.  In the darkness, in the silence, I’m listening to hear him snore, breathe, just signs of life.  Of course, I know he’s breathing but I need reassurance.

I’ve been sharing our roller coaster month of August in posts and daily, on Facebook.  I’m  probably more public than Tuvia realizes, but it’s been more for me than for him.  I never go without support from friends and family. But it’s good that we are now officially in September because so, far we seem to be coming back to us.  Rapidly, Tuvia has come back to himself.  His blood level rises and his color returns. He eats more and his face begins to fill back to health.  He visits his Englewood doctors and they marvel at his resilience but still they have nothing new to add to solving the problem.  Sadly, he has take his issue to Lenox Hill and super star gastroenterologist, Gregory Haber, who seems more open to offer newer tools to apply to finding and closing the blood leak, hiding somewhere in Tuvia’s body.

We thought that we might be closer to an answer today, but just an hour before he was  to begin prepping  for the capsule test that he’s taken three times in August, Ami called to stop him from that lovely bottle of magnesium citrate. Sorry, the delivered crop of capsules were deemed worthless. So we were stopped.  Having already given up our usual celebration with family for the start of Rosh Hasonnah, Tuvia joined me for grilled chicken burgers and steak.  Not the usual holiday faire.

But we are rescheduled for next Tuesday and even though I’ll miss my easy drive to Englewood Hospital, I will happily grab my chauffeur’s cap and head over the GWB, the FDR Drive and the traffic jammed streets of  the upper East Side of New York City in search of a solution so that our lives can return to normal with insurance.

This last effort to return to normalcy has been wonderful.  Tuvia has had the time he’s needed to come back to himself and to us.  We are back to movies, to meals out, to conversations about Syria, to  plans for our next trip.  He is back to bossing me around and I am almost enjoying it.

The cool of September has been energizing for us and today I’m taking time away from us to return to work with the HVWP.  Tuvia welcomes that return because , it will make us more us.

3 thoughts

  1. That last paragraph was so good to read – I know that “normal” for you and Tuvia is synonomous with being engaged in all those activities that bring you joy and a sense of living a rich life. So, it must be exhilarating to journey to HVWP, and to return to the movies-dinners-social activities that you both love. Fingers crossed that all continues in this way…that this Rosh Hasonnah brings a celebratory toast to “return to normalcy!!” Always thinking of you, my friend!

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"writing is the painting of the voice" -Voltaire-

Tammy L. Breitweiser

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