Remembering Eileen: Slice of Life March Marathon Day #23

Morning My Friend,

I miss our conversations, really miss our conversations!  Two years  of adjusting to life without you.  This second year was easier than the first but the ache of loss remains.  A friend, a true friend with shared history is impossible to replace.  We weren’t childhood friends, or college friends or even young adult friends, but once we began, we were in all the way.

Sure, we had shared life experiences and patience to listen to everything else.   I applauded your passion for justice and advocacy against corruption. I listened carefully when you advice to offer.  There was never  a loss of words between us: in person, on the phone we shared it all.

I watch my dad now and realize that he has lost so many friends.  He has almost no one to call and if he did he couldn’t hear them well.

I know my loss of you is just the beginning.  Aging is not for the weak.

I knew this anniversary was coming even when I wasn’t focused on why I was feeling extra sad.

Today I’ll see my dad, get to another movie with Tuvia, torture myself until I pick up my guitar and practice for my lesson tomorrow, but as we ride up to Ellenville there’s a spot on 209 where I always see you, at this park in the woods for walking.  I think we walked there maybe just once or twice but you are there for me.

See you friend,

Miss you,

Bonnie

Bonnie

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17 thoughts

  1. Your loss of Eileen still seems fresh, even though it’s been two years. Have I ever told you how much I admired the way you wrote to Eileen in the year after she passed away? Some people would’ve stopped, but not you. You kept your word. I’m sure it helped you keep Eileen a little closer even though she was no longer here in body. She’ll always be with you in spirit.

  2. So sorry about your loss. I don’t think the hole in your heart ever goes away when you lose someone you love, I think you just get used to the ache being there. May you be blessed with joyful memories today!

  3. Thanks Stacey for your support during that tough year. I loved writing those daily letters. In fact, I miss them. As for the rest of loss, there’s no words for the silence.

  4. I’ve thought of your friend – and your friendship many times of late. One of my own dear friends is fighting a mighty battle and I want to share my thoughts and prayers – written – verbal – silent – but as yet have not felt brave enough to do so. I know that while we cannot change our fate and the alignment of the stars, your friend is with you in spirit whether you are strumming the guitar or steering through traffic.

  5. The pain of loss is never gone, only slightly diminished with time, but at times the pain is front and center. You honor your friendship with this special person in your life.

  6. Has it been that long? Eileen will love the letter, too, Bonnie. Remembering the good things makes the relationship continue in your heart, really the way it was even when Eileen was here. I’m glad you shared again today.

  7. Sometimes I think it is a blessing that the time moves so quickly that we don’t have time to forget! The big memories, the tiny moments, all so special. Thinking of you as you start another year without your dear one by your side physically, but with her continuing to encourage your spirit.

  8. I love that you “see” her in a park near your house. I don’t believe the people we love are ever really gone, just “out of reach”. I’m sure she loved the note.

  9. There is a saying that everyone is replaceable, but I know it is not true. Not when we speak about people whom we love. I remember when you wrote to Eileen. Your words carried the loss and the love. I am thinking of my mom who has difficult time coping with the loss of her sister. My be writing letters would help.

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