I am so ready to be normal again. I want to eat again and time is moving along too slowly right now. It’s 4am and we can’t get moving until 8. But this time I behaved.
I’ve been putting off the dreaded colonoscopy for 5 years. I had my first when I turned 50, actually I was probably closer to 51. In July I finally agreed to suffer through the preparation but I wasn’t really ready to submit fully and I didn’t follow the directions. I didn’t suffer enough. I woke up the day before and had breakfast and lunch and then I started. Tuvia was no help. He let me make my own rules. Big mistake!
I went through some of torture kidding myself that I could take over the process. Guess what? I couldn’t.
I arrived at the doctor’s office and waited my turn to be put under in the operating room but when I came back to consciousness my doctor informed me that the results were inconclusive. I was just not clean enough and yes, I’d have to come back for another procedure, but the next time he would make sure I was ready. I’d be taking the extra strength cleaning liquid. YIKES!!!
Ironically, as I was coming to another my procedure, the guy on the other side of the curtain was in the same boat. He needed to redo the procedure. Two of us in one morning.
So I put off the redo, until Tuvia pushed me to get it over during the month of January when we had no trips planned. Okay, when secretary made her routine reminder call in December I surprised her by not blowing her off and instead, agreed to all of her requests.
Date set and I got myself ready.
Finally, I read through the list of preparation directions: a liquid diet the day before, nothing red, only water, chicken broth, jello-not red, popsicles- not red, white cranberry juice, OJ, and finally, at 5 PM the dreaded Go Litely- a gallon jug filled with water and the concentrate necessary to flush out the system and then some. Eight ounces every 15 minutes until the jug was emptied.
I began at 5 and finished by 8:30. Tough! I tried to drink as much as I could quickly with hits of diet Dr. Pepper as I finished slugging down each cup. The liquid had a lemony taste up the consistency was heavy. It looked like water but didn’t taste like it.
I did spend a lot of time in the bathroom but probably the worst of this experience was the time it took to drink the gallon. I know there’s an easier process and I will demand it next time and process to follow the directions to the letter of the law.
Tuvia is ready to have me back to normal and celebrate my return with a great brunch when the procedure is over. Hope everything goes well… I don’t want to have to go through this again until they come up with a more humane process of preparation.
Time to sleep to 7. Wish me luck.