Letters to Tuvia #17: September 11, 2015

Evening T,

It rained today and I began it without much sleep reserve to absorb the bleak skies.  It was my intention to be up and out by 9 and off to New Paltz for my return to my warm and supportive HVWP circle of friends/colleagues but I just couldn’t.  Instead I composed a short email and sent it out to the team.  I would be with them virtually and I knew that would be fine with everyone. Tom called me just to touch base before the meeting and assure me that he was there with whatever I needed. Amazing.

We were connected with FaceTime but the  distance made it harder for me to be present and my energy was limited.  But for the next two hours I worked to keep focused and engaged.

The rain continued, which is a good thing because we need it, but it kept me from smiling and I knew the afternoon would be even harder when Ron would arrive to work at your desk on your affairs.

But before the work began Ron arrived and suggested we eat lunch to you at the Fireplace.   I have no memories of you there. UGH!  What a terrible hamburger.  There won’t be a next time for me there.

Back home, watching someone at your desk, was very hard for me.  More reality was taking over.  You would not be back to take back your affairs and someone had to.

We both felt your absence. Hard for both of us.

The rain was coming down harder  and I wondered, as Ron left to avoid rush hour traffic, if Christine would be able to join me for dinner.  I called to warn her about the weather and she let me know that she was on her way no matter what.  I didn’t argue.  When she arrived we ordered Chinese and our guys from Wing Lee Express delivered.  We sat together catching up over food, Grey Goose and powerful memories.

Just three weeks ago, the night before you left us, Christine was here with me for dinner.  You had to bow out, but when Christine came in to deliver the pizza we brought back for you, she was saying goodbye to you for the last time.

Just three weeks ago you were here and then you were gone.  Just like that.  And I watched it all.

Tough day.

Miss you my love,

Bonnie S.

7 thoughts

  1. Bonnie, I may not comment on your letters as I try to catch up from being gone. I don’t want you to relive the days that have passed. Just know that I am reading and mourning your loss with every word you write.

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