Letters to Tuvia #29 September 24, 2015 Trying Reality on for Size

Dear T,

I made a serious effort to move back into the real world and I couldn’t.  I love Ami and Adi’s guest bedroom but even with a wonderful bed in a very cool space, you call to me, I  wake up and stay up and it it takes time to quiet my mind and drift back off.

So I was up at 6:30, just like Mia, but with a lot less sleep and after a quick shower, a cup of Israeli coffee and toast  I was off before the meter maid caught me again without an updated stub in my car window.  By 7:45 I was leaving Hoboken through our side streets shortcut but in rush hour there were slow lines of traffic all the way out of town and beyond.

I was driving without enough sleep and soon it was clear that even though I was hoping to make the HVWP meeting today in person, I knew that I couldn’t trust myself to hit Paramus and keep going up the Garden State and then the Thruway.  I was half way back to Paramus and already calling Tom to ask him to beam me in with FaceTime. Of course, he understands, they all do.  Do I?

The meeting began and everyone welcomed me and the conversation began.  I tried to listen, I tried to contribute, I tired to keep focused.

I couldn’t.  I was good for 20 minutes and then I was off.  Another call interrupted Tom’s FaceTime and I took it.  I couldn’t stay with my wonderful team.

I am just not ready for real time. 

What am I ready for?

Alone time?  That’s what I tried today.

I was at the house.  I was at my apartment and I realized that place doesn’t matter.

There is a deep  abyss that I live in now and I am without you everywhere.

Yes, for the last two days I’ve been in the bosom of the Rosenberg family and I will be back there tomorrow but there’s a larger issue at work here.

There’s no you here with me and that’s the reality I’ve been avoiding. It doesn’t matter where I sleep, right?

I have to get used to life from now on without you and that’s devastating.

A month without you,

Bonnie S.


6 thoughts

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


"writing is the painting of the voice" -Voltaire-

Tammy L. Breitweiser

writer * educator * reader

lit bits and pieces

Snippets of learning and life


a motherhood community for moms who do it all


This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas

Crawling Out of the Classroom

In everything that my students and I do together, we strive to find ways to use reading and writing to make the world outside of our classroom a better place for all of us to be

Lisa's Ramblings: Random Thoughts on the World We Live In...


Freeing the Writer Within

As I See It

Observations on Life

AnnaGCockerille Literacy

The Generative Power of Language: Building Literacy Skills One Word at a Time

Haddon Musings

There are 11,507 stories in Haddonfield; this is one of them.

To Read To Write To Be

Thoughts on learning and teaching

Just Let Me Teach

MrsWp, ELA Teacher


How to stay sane studying to become a teacher, and eventually, during your first years (when I get there!)


Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

%d bloggers like this: