Morning T,

What a pleasure it is to share with you that I slept peacefully in our bed last night even though you wouldn’t recognize it.  The ghost memories of your last month of discomfort are gone, (well not really) but at least I have taken over the bed thanks to Bed Bath and Beyond!

I needed the energy yesterday because I was back on the highways riding up to Ellenville  to meet up with Rick, his kids, my dad and Martin. Yes, I did remember to move all the food from Harold’s out of the freezer and refrigerator. Almost empty again, but not quite.   Remember, I live here and need to eat, but yes, I am still eating out regularly. Don’t  worry, I’m not hiding away in the house.

It’s Columbus Day weekend and I did hit a bit of traffic on the Thruway but as I got closer to the exit for 17, I was moving along and once I made it through the toll booth I was sailing.  I know you can visualize that, right?  After years of my riding up and down the Thruway, the signposts have become second nature to recording my progress as I headed away and the back home to you.  I miss our progress  calls more than you can imagine.

Rick hit some traffic as well and I arrived first, prepared to make a few trips into my dad’s house to fill up his freezer with soups, steaks, chicken, noodle pudding and prepared meals. Martin raced out to assist.  🙂

I sat with my dad and he showed off his new Lazyboy.  Not quite as fancy as yours, but he’s in chair heaven.

By 2 we were all sitting around a table in a new Italian restaurant, sampling pizza and salads.  The girls and Leigh’s new boyfriend(he’s a Mets fan- that’s a baseball team) seems very comfortable with the Kaplan clan.  You would have loved  catching up with them.  They were all very sensitive to me and relieved to see me looking  better.  Amazing what a few hours at Salon Elyse can do for you and a bit of weight loss from grieving.  Not everything is terrible about this process.

It was a great meet up, but I couldn’t stay much longer than lunch.  A shopping spree at Walmart just wasn’t appealing enough to hang around and I knew I traveling back home without you next to me.  I was on my own with just the right iPod playlist but there isn’t just the right playlist now.  I am flooded with tears no matter what I do in the car.   It’s the most difficult place, T.  but I can’t avoid it.  I don’t want to.

So I came home, stopping for coffee at our spot on Thruway.  That was just enough for me for one day.  Just opening the door, your aroma took me over.   I opened the coat closet and yes, your jackets are still filled with you. I breathed you back in.  Up the stairs, I was ready for the Lazyboy and an evening of TV, some reading, and another  effort to figure out the new cords I have to transfer your taped interviews  over to my computer.  Still nothing but I won’t give up, you know me.

I am off to shower, dress, head to the gym, Shoprite and then an art show with Hilda and a concert in Piermont.  Yes, full day… almost!  You’re missing.

Love you always,

Bonnie S.