Letters to Tuvia #47: New Morning Rituals (10-13-15) #Sol15

Morning T,

Another good night of sleep although I could have used a few more hours but the sleep was deep and peaceful.   It must have something to do with my new bedding.  No offense, but your minimalist decor did not inspire sweet dreams, but I know why it was important to keep the bed stripped of everything but pillows, the fitted sheet and a light cover.

Just recently I discovered that my friend  James and I are both up early and with that first cup of coffee we have been chatting into the day.  We are on the phone until we run out of steam.  I know you don’t get that but it works for me- it cuts into the sad silence that I need to fill.  We love talking theater, especially now, as he moves his cast along in the rehearsal process.  You know I love that subject even if I’ve moved away from my own stage work.  So good to have history with him.

Another new ritual-no more daily newspapers on the table.  As Ron and Ami begin to make sense of your finances, I recommended that we stop delivery of the NY Times weekday papers.  It makes it easier when I’m not here to avoid a build up of papers in the driveway.  Honestly, I didn’t read the real paper much during the week.  I’m so much more comfortable reading on my Iphone.  I still get the real paper on weekends, of course but if you’re not seeing across from me with your cup of light coffee and the paper, it’s not the same without you.

Yesterday I paid a shiva visit to Agita, one of my buds from our New Paltz supervisors club.  She just lost her husband after 6 year of colon/rectal cancer where she was the solo caregiver.  I can’t imagine that for either of them, or for us.  You and I were so blessed to have 20 years of romance almost illness free.

Agita was not able to come here for our shiva but she was happy to see me and we sat together and I was quiet, following the procedure of allowing the mourner to speak about her loss or anything else.  If felt so good to give back something after the outpouring of support I’ve experienced in that since you left.  I can’t wait to see her again with our group at Cosimos in Newburgh.

It’s so good to be a member of these wonderful communities.

There could be some rain today, but the weather continues to allow for sandals and transitional clothes.  I am scheduled for a dentist appointment, an Apple session and maybe even a stint at the garage at the bottom of my hill to get my car registered on time, and finally a walk with Tara and Sophie, the dog.

New rituals yes,  but always missing the old ones like the 1st Democratic debate. The two living room chairs moved close to the screen, side-side. Instead, I’ll probably be comfortable in the LazyBoy cacoon. Just say the word and the chairs will be set for us.

Miss you T., tonight and every night,

Bonnie S.

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8 thoughts

  1. New rituals do replace the old and things move forward. Wonderful memories, however, keep the past alive and give us comfort and peace. Love your bit about the newspapers. Although we get a daily paper, there really is nothing much to read in it, although they do come in handy as something to put under the litter boxes. 🙂

  2. I love that even in the shifting landscape that is your life, there are anchors that there are anchors to sustain you. I can just imagine those lively theater conversations with James!

  3. I’ve missed a few days, and am sorry for that, but glad to hear that you’re making new steps while keeping old ones, too, Bonnie. I’m reading more news online now too, & actually go to buy the NY Times on Sunday-a new fun thing for me to do. It’s fun that you found your friend for the theater talk in the am. Our weather is still warm too except the evenings. Have a good day & give a hello to Tara for me.

  4. New morning rituals after a restful sleep allow life to fall into place. There seems to be a flow to your days but I can imagine how the time in between must feel. It is so good to hear that you still have supportive communities around you, Bonnie. Peace!

  5. I’m glad your new bedding is bringing you some peaceful sleep, Bonnie.

    I love reading your letters to Tuvia. I love getting a glimpse into your love for one another – it’s heartwarming. Then, the image of the two chairs, but one empty, brings me such sadness. I hope writing does the same for you —- brings you happiness and gives you an outlet for your sadness, too.

    Oh, and that picture? What a great photo. I never met Tuvia, but that picture made me smile. His smile. Wow.

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