Letters to Tuvia #64 Another Day, A Good Day, BUT…(10-29-15)

Evening T,

I just watched this week’s episode of Scandal and  loved it!  You might be wondering why you can’t remember Scandal.  It’s obvious.  You tried watching the show with me a few times and couldn’t make sense of it.  First, it moves too fast and second, it’s way off the charts of reality.  For me, it’s like a ride in my fantasy sports car, for you, it made absolutely no sense. So I used to watch it on my own time, usually when you were sleeping.   But tonight I watched it in real time.  I had the 9 PM slot to myself.  Ugh, not by choice, Tuv.

As for the day that led up to my pleasure with Scandal, it was another nice one- still warm for the end of October, productive- I was back at the gym for a good workout, I had lunch at the Art Cafe with my book buds, I even got to shop at Chico’s with Val’s support and then back to Rockland for dinner with Jane,Michael and Hilda.

I’m keeping myself busy- productive even, but why is it that when I stop to take a breath, I pause to sit on my couch, I change the sheets on the bed, I drive up and down the mountain, I’m racing in my head, trying to break the silence.

I can’t hear your voice, I can’t see that smile on your face when I try on something from my Chico’s bag, I can’t show you the recreation of your rings proudly living on my finger.

I’m remembering a text I got from Andrea a few days after you died.  She asked me if there was anything she could do for me.

I responded immediately ” Yes, can you bring Tuvia back to me?”

“No, but what anything else?”

There was nothing else.  Nothing else.

And there’s still nothing else I really want.

Nothing else.

Miss you always,

Bonnie S.

 

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4 thoughts

  1. Hi Bonnie, another full day, and some good friends to be with is a nice thing, yet I know it’s not the same. Still, I’m happy for you that you have those who are with you often, helping to fill some of the spaces. It is a good thing. Hugs for Friday!

  2. Oh Bonnie, I feel your pain in every post…in every day alone…in every time you change the sheets. The loss of someone you love is hard…and sad…and the loneliness comes in waves…You are doing an amazing job of keeping busy and an awesome job of writing through the pain and recreation you must do to survive….

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