These last two days have been the worst yet. I’ve been crying a lot, having trouble moving between you and the world. I have been out of course. You know what I did yesterday even with a veil of tears in the way.
According to the experts I am now in the acceptance phase- I’m in real time and
YOU ARE NOT COMING BACK!
Today I was up and down the Thruway for our bi-monthly HVWP leadership meeting at New Paltz and then lunch with Jackie at Main Course. When I missed the exit onto the Thruway I wondered if I had the focus I needed to make the trip but once I turned around( legally) and just kept going I knew I needed to be there. Of course I created a new playlist on my iPod just for my new acceptance phase called EMBRACE. At the moment there’s 10 tunes- all tunes for tears and boy was there a flood. Good thing I could easily grab for your stash of tissues, close by.
It was a good being with my circle of friends who care about me and don’t expect me to do more than I can. My walk and lunch with Jackie allowed me to share what I needed to share.
On my way back to my place I stopped at the house for a dose of you, to grab up a few things I need for tomorrow and damn, I forget to stop at Harolds for Marla’s Thanksgiving prep. Good thing we live so close together. There’s still time tomorrow.
So Tuv you’ve been where I am now and good thing you didn’t share too much of your mourning experience with me. But who am I kidding, it wouldn’t have stopped me. I will never regret a moment I spent with you.
Bring it on. I was waiting for you to find me my whole life.
Miss you with all my heart, Tuvia Rosenberg,