Letters to Tuvia #77 Another Step (11-12-15)

Morning T,

It’s dark and early and yes, I tried sleeping longer but my Macbook Air called to me  from the kitchen. Come get me….time to write.. and a quick walk back and forth the on the warm wood path I was back under the covers ready for to create a new post.

Here goes:

So yesterday was not what I thought it would be. With Ron and Ami and real estate agents we walked the house.  Clearly Cindy, recommended by Tara and Scott, was our hands down favorite, but these walks were not simple walks in the park.

What was I thinking?

As we came to the end of a long hour with Cindy, talking through each room of the house, considering what we might do to change it/ stage it for the potential new owners,  I shut down as the timeline under discussion made me realize that another goodbye would be coming sooner than I expected.

The home you and I  been sharing for the last 20 years will soon be dismantled.  Often I describe our spaces as your home, my apartment, but it’s never been that way.  We have shared these spaces and this home even more regularly for the last two years. For you this has been your space for the last 50 years and soon it will be gone from me making your passing even more final.

Soon another piece of my life will be closed.  Just down the road from our Bone Fish, my Chicos, our Ridgewood,  our parks, meet ups with Tara and Scott- pieces of our life together.

When everyone left I locked up and headed for Tara’s to start digesting the emotions of the experience.  We walked with Sophie the dog, we opted for dinner at Bone Fish, welcomed as usual by the staff, I headed back home and digested the experience even more with Ami and Zehava, and Marla.

I’ve been reading shared reflections on grieving here and here  and I am feeling, understanding the depths of grieving.  The more we loved, the more I mourn your absence. BUT  it’s a good thing I don’t have to walk my new road alone.

Miss you here, miss to everywhere, T,

Bonnie S.

8 thoughts

  1. Glad you had such support on this day, Bonnie. I thought of you yesterday, wondering how it was going. Glad also that you could talk with Tara at the end of the day, a comfort I’m sure. Hope today holds some bright spots.

  2. Hope the bereavement group can help. My group was a lifeline after my mother’s death. Glad you have the support of family and friends during this difficult time. I went home just to say goodbye to the house I grew up in before it was sold. Keeping you in my thoughts as you walk this new road and navigate this journey without your beloved Tuvia.

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