Evening T,

We are back from the first and last full day of serious conference attendance and it feels like we’ve been at it a week.  Yes, we’ve been here in Minneapolis since Tuesday night with a full day and 1/2  to be tourists-another first.  I used love Friday nights when I moved from conference participant to tourist magically, as your taxi arrived from the airport and I sat waiting for you in the hotel lobby.  I usually looked up just as you were exiting the cab and handing the driver his money.  I had just enough time to meet you at the door as if we had been separated from each other for weeks and time slowed down for me to savor the city with you.

It’s been a great week with my HVWP family,  but as usual my life for the last 3 months(11-21-15) feels almost right but not quite. I know you understand what I mean.  It’s you, you’re missing.  For example, the workshop our book team presented went really well, even better than I had expected: we had a great group of participants and to my surprise, even though we didn’t plan too much in advance, Jeremy and Stephanie created the frame of our work together and that supported my specific work in the center as I moved the group through our use of a variation of the NWP protocols we used on assessing our student’s digital work. Each of us added our own experience to the discussion, not stepping on anyone’s toes and the group seemed to be totally engaged, even at 3:30 in the late afternoon hour when energy is low.  My energy for sure.

I felt good, proud, itching to share the experience with you.  I was ready to grab for the phone and make the call, but I didn’t of course because, well there would be no answer- not on your cell phone, not on the home phone that takes me away from  Sure, I play with my phone- clicking for messages, checking Facebook, but it’s just to keep my fingers busy.  I am off center, in my own space. But then the next activity, a  familiar face, the next conversation and I am distracted from the phone call I can’t make or the one that won’t be ringing for me.  You won’t be checking in and can’t make peace with that.

So today was another day filled with meet ups, workshops, ideas, inspiration,  bravos, hugs, support, comfort.  The pictures document the story of today.  I’m smiling in every photo and it’s genuine.  In this space and time it’s been wonderful to be back in the NWP community.

Tomorrow Jackie, Mary, Diane and I will pack up and move out of our B&B and head to the Hilton to check our bags and find some morning activities before we leave for the airport.  After an uneventful, comfortable plane ride back to Newark and a taxi to Paramus, Mary and Jackie will get back into their cars and head back up the Thruway  for their homes and families and I will enter the house and the new heavy silence will envelope me.  I will probably take what I need and head for Rockland to escape the emptiness.

It’s almost midnight. Everyone else is asleep.  I should be asleep but I needed to write this piece tonight.  So here it is T. I would give anything right now to wake you up from your sleep and share the day with you but this is the best I can do.

Miss you completely,

Bonnie S.