It’s Monday morning and I’m ready for a fresh new week with Thanksgiving offering a huge Kaplan-Goldman celebration. I know you could care less about this holiday but I would have pushed you to join me for this one.
I’m anchored in my apartment with a second cup of coffee waiting for me, listening to the morning news on TV, enjoying a fire in the fireplace, and smelling warm heat as it rises up everywhere in the apartment.
Thumbs up! I’ve made it though another weekend, the 14th Sunday without you and like most of the other 13, this was one was rocky at its start. Weekends were so much easier when we were together- when I was with you as a couple. So taking charge of Sundays needs to be priory for me as I move into this new reality.
I wasn’t looking forward to yesterday. I sat too long in my gym clothes, passing my window of opportunity to get up and out into my car and off to my Paramus gym. By 10 I needed to change into regular clothes, pack up my car, remember what I needed to deliver for Marla’s feast and head out to meet up with my dad and Rick for lunch in Ellenville.
I put romantic music aside- too masochistic for a Sunday morning ride and opted for Alec Baldwin’s podcasts on NPR with Carol Burnet, Amy Shumer and Dan Rather. No tears! Well, a few.
Once there it was good to catch up with Rick and share time with my dad whose hearing and balance seems to get worse each time I see him. Ninety-five, here we come! He misses you T.
On the way out I stop at Jeff’s for a chat. It’s hard to talk with him about my future. Actually, impossible right now but I can focus on Marla’s preparations for a large feast coming. I think she’s up to 33 with a 4-baby meet up. Hopefully I’ll get out of myself but there’s a memory that will be sure to knock me in the head- our first Thanksgiving sleepover, 20 years ago. Remember?
I rode up, I rode back without much traffic to comfortably make it to Sharon’s art show before closing. Yes, Sharon missed your unique interest but surprise- Zehava’s cousin Sy was there to keep Sharon engaged with his questions. Ettie and Sharon share a membership in an art organization and never knew we were had a connection. So good to see them! I hope I can continue to see them.
Last chapter for yesterday was at Rick’s with Maya, Mulik, Earis at their home here in the U.S. and fun with the new baby,Emmie and big girl, Mika. So good to have kids to play with.
A rough start, lots of riding up and down the Thruway, a night at my apartment. Missing you through it all my love, I’m still going through the motions but trying hard to move out of myself so that it’s not all about me. I hate pity but I carry your heart wherever I go. I wish you were here carrying your own heart.