Evening My T,

It’s not that I didn’t tear up today.

It’s not that I didn’t speak your name.

It’s not that I didn’t have a mini-tsumani as I drove up to New Patlz.

It’s not that I wasn’t disappointed when Andrea had to cancel our photo meet-up adventure.

But I can say that good things happened today.

I was up too early and got right to writing- big mistake. But I caught a cat nap before I needed to race for a shower and dress quickly to be in my car and on the road by 9:15.  Nothing like calling up my past life and my love of the challenge to be ready in a flash.

The trip up  to New Paltz complete with music.  Did I really want to go there?  Sure, why not.  I didn’t select my EMBRACE dedicated to you-a  playlist sure to torment me all the way up.  No, I opted for my favorite holiday tunes- the songs I sang to you.  Through tears I tried singing them again. Maybe you heard me?  I braced for a tsunami but just a mini came to me and it was tolerable.

Parked and racing to Old Main, I was welcomed by my HVWP  team as I walked in with Jackie and for the next 2 hours I was present for more than 50%.  I even volunteered for some upcoming projects in the spring and commitments to support Tom and the Institute on Saturday morning.  Yes, it felt very good.

Jackie and I lunched a the Tea Room again and as the sun came out I was back in my car headed for home and a quick change for my photo meet up with Andrea.

The closer I got to home the more exhausted I felt and when Andrea called with a legitimate emergency to have to cancel our plans, yes, I was disappointed but boy was I happy to move into pj mode  and grab a log for the fireplace.

Settled on my couch Sharon had some good news about her upcoming  river cruise for August  and with the help of Halliday in Boston I got my own room  just a few doors down.  So another trip is booked.  I am in motion, my traveling man.  I don’t want to be doing this without you but I’m making the most of good friends- Israel with family and friends, Cancun with Jane and Michael, the river boat from Amsterdam to Basel with Sharon, Eddie and friends.

I know you’re grinning with pride  that I’m taking back my life for me, for you.

I should tell you T, that I am also thinking about matters of the spirit.  As I rode  back home with sunshine and blue skies, I looked up into  the light, the clouds remembering when it was automatic for me to believe in God. I know that you never believed,but back home I had to capture the blazing light just before the winter’s abrupt sundown.  I want to believe you’re close by and connected to me.

Another busy day ahead with an early morning gym session with Anthony.  Yes, I’m trying to keep moving back to me and it’s not easy, but my Tuvia tears are sweet and warm.

Love you always,

Bonnie S.