What a whirlwind of activity, emotions and travel and I’m feeling like I want to make sense of where I am right now, right at this moment in this life I’m trying on for size.
So here goes:
Thursday and Friday were total winners.
What a pleasure to ride up and down the Thruway on Thursday, Friday and Saturday for HVWP at SUNY New Paltz, Ellenville for a Friday night dinner and a book reading to a full house at the library and drinks at Aroma Thyme, surrounded by Eville buds who read my letters to you. It’s okay, T, really.
Ami, Adi and the kids arrived this morning at 6am for a Chanukah visit and yes, I made sure to call and welcome them for both of us and even though the ride back today was a marathon of driving I was back in the warmth of your family, our family. Yes, they were all jet lagged but by 6PM we were all sitting together at Precious ordering Chinese food for 8.
I sat in between Leora and Mihael, who was trying his best to stay awake but when he moved to cuddle with Ami, you took his seat- your rightful seat and a new tsunami was birthed.
From that moment on I was helpless to stop the tsunami that began to submerge me. Strolling on Washington, we chatted in pairs, entered the house and took our seats around the dining room table for dessert and Rummikub . As I sipped coffee and joined the game, I fought hard but I was melting into the wall, tearing up even as we were forced to call it a night and pack up for home.
As I rode home, back to my place, I was careful with the music I played, I was careful to control my car’s speed, I carefully, trying hard to relax, consciously breathing deeply.
But here’s the good thing:
Yes, the tsunamis continue but I am starting to take them on, understand them, describe them… they are reminders of what we had and will always have. They are my reminders of you and maybe they won’t be as painful as time passes…
But for now… I grieve with love for you Tuvia,
Another Sunday is coming…