Letters to Tuvia#104: Come on, It’s Hard Enough (12-18-15)

Morning T,

Rain was never an issue for you.  In fact, you loved walking in the rain. Well, you wanted to walk in the rain but out of kindness to me,  you didn’t make me suffer.   You were always sensitive to what the gloom of rain did to my soul, especially when rain mixed with wind and yesterday it was endless but I didn’t let it stop me from most of my plans.

One thing I couldn’t do was visit the house. I need to wait for a bit of sunshine.  There’s such a finality now to my visits as I slowly pack up more of my things. But I’ve come to know that if you aren’t there, and you aren’t coming back, it’s just too hard to be there without you. I’m so grateful to you for pushing me into this wonderful space that we shared together.

I kept to the rest of my  schedule.   I am getting acclimated to my new gym and setting up my apartment with equipment to keep me active when I need to stay put.  So far, the move away from 24 Hour has been a good decision.  I’m finding this smaller space comfortable and the staff there  friendly and location, location, location!  It’s just down at the bottom of the hill.

The afternoon was filled with fun- a “party” at Chicos!  Well, not really a party- just fun shopping for just a few key pieces for an Israeli winter in January.   I was happy to join up with Val who  offered her enthusiasm and honesty as I moved around the store selecting a few new pieces with care. Success!!!

Back home, I had enough time to start reading a book recommended by Jackie D. The Light of the World: A Memoir by Elizabeth Alexander. It’s a familiar subject: a young woman loses her husband suddenly.  Yes, I’ve read a number of books that mirror me, and so far, I’m loving her writing.  Your fave, Michelle Obama loved this book too.  I’m in it and will share more as I get comfortable with it but  of course, I won’t  stop reading  Shadow of the Wind.  I won’t abandon Daniel and the gang.

Books and coffee keep me grounded.

I finished the day with Jane and Michael and their wonderful friends Richard and Rosa at La Fontana. You never liked the place but it’s so homey for me.  My new buddy, real estate Richard was there too to host us as our waiter, but I’m looking forward to more house hunting adventures with him.  Nope, I’m probably not moving but it’s fun just to look. It was wonderful to share a meal with them after we paid a visit to the Nyack jewelry store where I had your rings recreated for my finger. No way did I need new jewelry for thousands of dollars but it was fun to look with Jane.  She walked out empty handed as well.  Michael was not disappointed 🙂

I made it through another day, Tuv.  I was back on my couch by 8:30 and I could have rolled into bed but pushed to stay up just a bit more to sleep through the night. Nope, I didn’t make it.

But there’s another full day of fun ahead without rain and maybe some sun arriving later in the day.

I am out as much as I can T. trying to make the most of  this life,  incomplete without you,

Miss you every minute of every day,

Bonnie S.

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4 thoughts

  1. I remember those ‘often’ rainy days in Missouri. So interesting to hear the perspective because in Colorado we relish the ‘once-in-a-while’ rain and gloom. I do understand, though, the mood is not the same. Glad you had different things to do this day, including more planning for your coming trip. Hope Friday does bring sunshine and some fun with friends again, Bonnie!

  2. I visited Chicos yesterday and picked up a few items from the sale rack. I love it when I find the clothes that don’t wrinkle, perfect for those traveling days. I need the sun to give me energy. Cloudy and rainy days find me accomplishing very little. Hope you had sunshine today.

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