Letters to Tuvia#105: “New Inspiration” (12-19-15)

Evening T,

It’s cold out there and dark as I write on this last Saturday night before Christmas. It’s been a full day of exercise with Anthony, a ride up with Ellenville for lunch with my dad and Martin, and even a surprise chat with Phelene Lonstein, one of my faves from EHS.  Then time with Jeff and Marla and an evening at the Shadowland with Helen and Paul, Carl and Nancy.

But first in need to share a few things with you from yesterday:

The day  was so easier with sunshine: back from the gym,  dressed for a lunch at Agita’s with my SUNY Babes. I even had time to stop for a bottle of prosecco.  Following my car’s GPS I was traveling north on the Thruway and 17 and at the Middletown exit, I was sent right and found  pleasure on unfamiliar backroads to Montgomery- Emperor Rd.

I was delivered right  to Agita’s front door, but the street was deserted and even before I got out of the car and rang her bell I knew I messed up. BIG TIME!

I was at the right place, at the right time, in  just the right frame-of- mind but, as I looked back over my emails- WRONG DAY!

I wasn’t really planning to share this information with anyone, but hey, you are not just anyone:)

It was a nice ride up and back without traffic and I got back home in time to see my buddy Dana and save a lot of calories- just a yogurt for my lunch with a power nap before I had to get ready for an celebratory evening with my book buds at Restaurant X.!!!!

Yes, our old stamping ground and I didn’t think about that until I was there in the main room sitting at a table by the window.  Funny, we couldn’t get our gang’s usual table by the fireplace but we made the best out of an unpleasant start and I didn’t feel ghosty sadness.

But thanks for a recommendation from Jackie Denu, I’ve been loving  The Light of the World, the memoir of a young widow after 15 years of happy marriage, her husband suddenly went into cardiac arrest and left her and her two small boys.  Sound familiar?  Yours wasn’t quite as sudden but I can relate to her process… but wow, is her story-telling powers so universally amazing.
I am planning to steal A LOT from her:

Here’s a poem she shared and talked about by Lucille Cliffton who also lost her husband when he was young.  I know poetry is not your thing but I keep returning to this one.

The Death of Fred Clifton

Age 49

I seemed to be drawn
to the center of myself
leaving the edges of me
in the hands of my wife
and I saw with the most amazing
so that I had not eyes but
and, rising and turning,
through my skin,
there was all around not the
shapes of things
but oh, at last, the things

Lucille Clifton

What do you think?

Miss you T.  Wish you were here to see a play with me tonight.

I can’t imagine my life without a partner,

I still can’t imagine the rest of my life without you.


Bonnie S.


6 thoughts

  1. You are a lady on the go, and that is perfect for this time of your life. The poem does speak to the heart. Snuggle in for the evening and send the darkness away.

  2. I see there’s no snow in your forecast, so you can be out & about tomorrow, too, Bonnie. It’s great that you can make plans with so many friends and family. I have to laugh about the mishap to your friend’s home. Sarah just got the girls ready for yesterday afternoon to some kind of holiday craft party at a neighbor’s. They arrived and no one was home. It was today! Busy, busy. The poem is lovely, and especially so to me because it’s in the husband’s voice. Those “edges of me left”. It’s a different idea to me. Thanks for sharing. I hope you continue to enjoy the days and sunshine!

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