I’ve been reading a few books at the same time, moving back and forth on the Kindle and my latest inspiration is coming from a book I’ve mentioned before, The Light of the World: a Memoir. The author has lost her husband and writes about her grieving. I’m stealing of course.
She talks about what she’s missing and in her short,powerful chapters, she shares what she’s missing, one being their friendship. Even though you never liked being described as my friend, you are/were my very best all-time friend and here’s what I’m missing:
I miss our on-going conversations about everything: politics, Israel, family, our lives before, our lives together, our friends, headlines, frustrations, movies, trips to come, our past.
I miss the way you saw me, sitting across from you as you read the newspaper and you looked up at me and said “ You look so good, your skin is so clear, so lovely, so happy.”
I miss my #1 fan: when I disappeared into my room and picked up my guitar and started practicing, you would find your way to the door and listen, sometimes tiptoe inside and sit on the high-rise to listen closely and whisper- “beautiful” stop to offer a soft kiss and find your way back out.
I miss our shared passions for Lincoln Center at New Year’s Eve, Shakespeare everywhere even if you were frustrated, beaches, date night at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Barnes and Noble, Panera, Bone Fish, Suburban Diner…
I miss bedtime. You would walk around the bed to your side, kiss me and lie sideways facing away from me on your favorite side. I would shut my reading light and turn toand move as close as I could without throwing you off the bed to spoon and reach over with my right hand and bring you even closer to me. You would relax into me and sigh in my warmth and I would wipe away a tear of joy. You would sigh,“So warm.”
I miss the man who called me into his study, sat me down and said “You aren’t my soul-mate, you are my soul.”
Of course I miss you,