Letters to Tuvia#107 What I’m Missing (12-22-15)

Dear T,

I’ve been reading a few books at the same time, moving back and forth on the Kindle and my latest inspiration is coming from a book I’ve mentioned before, The Light of the World: a Memoir. The author has lost her husband and writes about her grieving.   I’m stealing of course.

She talks about what she’s missing and in her short,powerful chapters, she shares what she’s missing, one being their friendship.  Even though you never liked being described as my friend,  you are/were my very best all-time friend and here’s what I’m missing:

I miss our on-going conversations about everything: politics, Israel, family,  our lives before, our lives together, our friends, headlines, frustrations, movies, trips to come, our past.

I miss the way you saw me, sitting  across from you as you read the newspaper and you looked up at me and said “ You look so good, your skin is so clear, so lovely, so happy.”

I miss  my #1 fan: when I disappeared into my room and picked up my guitar and started practicing, you would find your way to the door and listen, sometimes tiptoe inside and sit on the high-rise to listen closely and whisper- “beautiful” stop to offer a soft kiss and find your way back out.

I miss our shared passions for Lincoln Center at New Year’s Eve, Shakespeare everywhere even if you were frustrated, beaches, date night at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Barnes and Noble, Panera, Bone Fish, Suburban Diner…

I miss bedtime.  You would walk around the bed to your side, kiss me and lie sideways facing away from me on your favorite side.  I would shut my reading light and turn toand move as close as I could without throwing you off the bed to spoon and reach over with my right hand and bring you even closer to me.  You would relax into me and sigh in my warmth and I would wipe away a tear of joy. You would  sigh,“So warm.”

I miss the man who called me into his study, sat me down and said “You aren’t my soul-mate, you are my soul.”

Of course I miss you,


Bonnie S.

PS>slice-300x300Bravo to the Two Writing Teachers for their Edublogs Award for Best Group Blog!!!!!




14 thoughts

  1. Oh Bonnie, of course, all those things. A sweetness of the small things that are not small at all. Funny, but I wish these things could be shared to newlyweds, that nothing else matters but these. You’ve touched me today, reaching out to hug and say “love what you wrote”.

  2. I love this so much. These are the things that make a life–these small, sweet moments we tend to take for granted, waiting instead for those big moments. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Bonnie, you have hit on what is truly important in life. It is not how much we have, but having someone who finds joy in being with us and sharing our dreams, goals, and accomplishments. Wishing you peace and joy during this time of the year.

  4. You bring tears to my eyes and a heaviness settles in my heart with the pain of loss you feel. I know you basked in the love Tuvia had for you. This is a love story. Beautiful!

  5. I read your words, beautiful, love-filled words, showing your loss and pain. I want to hug my husband tighter. Thank you for your honest, vulnerable writing.

  6. Thinking of you and other friends during this season – not an easy time for those who grieve. So glad you can write about the precious moments that made your live with Tuvia so blessed! Wishing you comfort and friends as you continue to walk this difficult path. A beautiful mentor text, my friend. You have much to miss.

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