Letters to Tuvia #110: Moving/Cleaning on X-Mass Eve (12-24-15)

Merry Christmas T,

I am up in darkness and I can’t wait till there’s just enough light to cover up my pjs and start dumping my moving boxes filled with old stuff to make way for new stuff coming from the house, from our life together.  That’s what I did yesterday as many shopped and cooked and prepped for today, Christmas.

Of course, I didn’t just pack up the house and move things back to mine.  I had lunch with Zehava at Bone Fish, treated with care by the staff that continues to remember and miss you, us as a couple.  I  stopped  by Liberty Travel to meet up with Maris, chat and pick up my vacation materials for my beach trip to our  Excellence in Cancun.  I did enjoy dinner at Hilda’s house with a tour of her newest paintings for dessert.  Yes, she has even more now finished pieces than you would remember.

And then I came home to my apartment in box  chaos,with the help of Aunt Sally and Elaine, as we chatted on the phone, I started unpacking.  When we hung up, I went wild, throwing out old clothes to make way for my newer rags.

Sounds very productive. Sounds like I’m living a full life, right?  Sure, it was good.  It wasn’t as traumatic as I thought it might be because I have been dreading and mourning the experience for days and weeks so the actual experience of packing and moving out was almost without emotion. I was prepared for the worst.

I don’t know what’s next for me– how I will feel when the house we shared for the last 20 years is out of my grasp, when my key won’t fit in the lock.

Just another piece of Tuvia and Bonnie will be gone.   It was so good that we had this apartment to share- this lovely space over the Hudson.  This space was for us and now I’m back with memories of you.

Miss you today. Miss you every single day.

Bonnie S.

7 thoughts

  1. You packed a lot into yesterday, my friend, and you are slowly settling into your place by the Hudson – bringing your Paramus life there, and making it a space you will still share with Tuvia’s memory all around.

  2. Lots to do, to remember, and to be thankful for, Bonnie. I’m glad you had time with friends in the midst of the packing up and making decisions of what to throw and what to keep. And hoping that transition will continue to take away some of the burden you are carrying. Hugs for this day, hoping you were able to see that wonderful full moon.

  3. The living arrangement of Tuvia and Bonniewill will eventually be no more, but there will always be memories and photos of Tuvia and Bonnie to hold close to your heart. Moving is exhausting, mentally and physically.

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