I’m in and settled on a Saturday night: early dinner, exercise on my new ellipse and a plan to being to move house things here. I can see you shaking your head, “throw away! Throw away!” Sorry, your silence keeps me fueled to do it my way. I think I need Dana here to supervise.
See what’s happening in Israel? Mia and Mihael picked out their very first family dog- a lab and she arrives on the day I leave for Tel Aviv. What fun ahead but still too soon to be packing. The study needs floor space.
Today I gave up my gym session with Anthony to await the arrival of my Ellipse. The delivery team arrived early and worked efficiently- and I could have jumped right on as they waved good-bye. Yes, I tipped them.
I needed time to get used to it. I needed time to unpack my car. I needed time to breathe through some tears as I’m lifted out of our life so dramatically. It’s just another day without you and that acceptance is so hard. It’s hard to believe that it won’t always be so painful not to have you here with me. But I keep at it, this life I don’t want.
An afternoon movie at the Burns. High hopes were dashed with Youth. Michael Caine, Harvey Kieitel, one of your faves- Rachel Weitz and it didn’t matter. It moved so slowly- it was the pacing- a bit of dialogue and then music and scenery shots over and over again. What? I did snooze a bit but for sure, I didn’t miss anything. I’m sure you would have been staring at your watch, giving me the eye for an early exit, annoyed that we-I had selected a dud.
I was just happy to be away for a few hours, just trying to navigate in this unchartered territory. Can I really enjoy life without you- alone?
Miss you on a Saturday night, miss you every night.