Letters to Tuvia#135:Breathing/Reflecting (1-27-16)

Morning T,

Yesterday was another full one, getting back into my home routine:

Dana was here to tackle the cobwebs, Marie France met me at the mall for a light lunch and Room– a very powerful movie that, yes, you would have enjoyed for its unique story and well-executed plot actualized  by great acting especially from the new little boy star.  I didn’t sleep a wink but sadly missed the climatic moment in the ROOM. Really I was happy to escape. The suspense was driving me CRAZY!!!! Yes, I was hiding my eyes 🙂

Then, off to dinner with Jane and Michael and Hilda. We were trying a new spot in the Nanuet Mall- BJs.  I was actually missing our go-to spot LaFontana in Nyack.  Your love of favorite eating spots, rather than experimenting  is rubbing off on me.  Maybe I’m just yearning for “home”, missing ours.

It’s good to be back and shut my eyes to see what memories  appear from my rich two weeks in Israel. I’m coming out of my deep freeze and I want to know where I am and what’s still missing.

The two images above live with me.  I have so many of us to chose from and I keep coming back to these.   My image was taken just last March and ours together, I can’t remember.  I don’t know who took it or when and where it was shot.  But I see the best of us reflected in both.

My image: total abandon and comfort with the camera.  You, of course, snapped it on our last night in Cancun, ever, now that I think about it.  But we didn’t know that then or and thought about it.  In fact, when we checked out the next morning at the club with Nester, we were invited to return with an upgrade.  We were already planning for our  future traveling.

We came together at just the right time for both of us.  I needed you to stay longer and you did the best you could.  It wasn’t easy for you to keep your spirits up as life got harder but what I’m learning from Ami is just how hard life was for you before me and that you needed me.  And me, I needed you.  I waited for you to find me. You did.

The  image of us together  was not a favorite of yours.

“My eyes are closed!”

“Yes, that’s the reveal. Your smile, your face of peace and contentment and yes, JOY!”

I gave you my spontaneous, outrageous joy.  You gave me your grateful, gracious, appreciation. We fueled each other- never simple but always loving.   Yes, it took time to figure out how we could make life together work, but what’s life without big challenges?

Miss you T. I miss my joy that came from us.

I wish we were sitting across from each other talking about Room  and Hillary and the the Donald and Netanyahu making a bigger mess than you could ever imagine.

Bonnie S.




3 thoughts

  1. Two strong individuals coming together built an even stronger life together. The best part is you were always present in this life. You lived it fully and wth joy. Those are great memories.

  2. When you need to work hard to make “life” work, and better, then when it’s suddenly missing, it’s such a terrible blow. I am sad for you for the loss, but as you share yours and Tuvia’s life together, am so happy that you made a life together. Nice you were able to get out with friends yesterday.

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