Letters to Tuvia#155: Here’s What Happens (2-20-16)

Dear T,

Yesterday was another very good day T,  meeting Maris (Liberty Travel) for lunch, out from behind her desk and sitting across from her in a small booth at our Suburban Diner, which as it happens is her favorite diner too. As we say our good-byes she hands me a small gift bag filled with the travel materials for Cancun and a lovely red journal for reflections.  So sweet, I know.

And the sun is shining as we head out together  making plans for a future meet up when I’m back in March.  All good!

And then I’m back in Rockland with a quick stop at Fairway to pick up some chicken and create a dinner for Bonnie and  Julia, hosting at my place: food, friends, good conversation and reclaiming my space- yes, All Good.

And then I’m up today early,  prepping for a ride to New Paltz and my first facilitation of a writing workshop for the parents of the kids who are attending a morning of writing at the HVWP.  And I’m riding up the Thruway and I’m thinking about how I will begin with the group and I’m calling my dad to say good morning and remind him I’ll be up with him tomorrow for lunch.  All Good!

And I’m entering with all my bags and after a mildly rocky set up with an LCD projector   in walks my old buddy Don Stark who takes one look at the projector and with a dramatic flourish of his hand- removes the lens cap and we are in business.  The workshop begins and continues leisurely as the six parent participants get to see my digital story, “Remembering a Gentle Voice”,  with my dad in his bathing suit and then ice skating and I am traveling back in time and thrilled to hear their thoughtful responses.  And then they get to write and share together and they get to write more and we share together in a story circle… and it’s a very  good morning as I feel that I’m back in the groove of my work, no,  play.

And it’s all good… I am riding back home on the Thruway and I’m catching up with Jane and her family’s short reunion.  And it’s all good, really…

And I am almost home… And as I enter my apartment  it’s silent and I realize that today is the first time I’m back after an HVWP event and you not here to hear about it and you not here to take me to lunch, to a movie….and for a moment I can’t catch my breath, I can’t feel good…and it’s not okay…

And I think, what’s the point…and for that moment…that very long moment I’m frozen…

And then…there’s the next moment, not much better than the last one but I remember that I have to get in touch with West Elm to change my order for the new wall unit.  I have to find the number and call.  I need to eat something because I’m empty there too, I need to write something, I need to exercise, to play guitar before I leave for Hoboken and the dinner that Leora is creating for us.

And that’s what happened… so much has happened since my last letter… and I am still living life as a yo yo…

And as always, I miss you on this sunny, windy Saturday down to the depths of my soul and even deeper is that’s possible.

Bonnie S.

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2 thoughts

  1. You know, laugh if you want, and possibly you will laugh, but these are the times when I say “go kick the garage door” HARD! I don’t have a garage anymore (he he), but any door or thing will do. Just as you wrote, a good day, and then, not good. Hugs and hoping you have a lovely dinner with Leora, Bonnie. I’m happy that your early meeting went so beautifully.

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