Letters to Tuvia#179 Here’s to Aging (3-17-16)

 

Morning T

I know my last letter arrived late last night but I need to get back to writing into the day and today will be a big one, a long one, an exciting one and you will be wishing you were here to celebrate my dad’s 95th on his actual birthday on St. Patrick’s Day, today!

95 for Herbie Kaplan!  It will be fun for us to take him out for a special dinner but  Dad, hmmm.  He has trouble hearing- it’s probably even worse than you remember.  He has trouble walking.  It’s finally clear to him that the walker is better than his cane.  He’s bored most of the time when Margaret isn’t around, or Martin isn’t with him chatting. Of course he has his loyal, overweight Prince, who sleeps on his pillow if my dad isn’t fast enough to push him over to his own side. (I know that grosses you out a bit.)

As much as I miss you, your quality of life was disappearing  and you left at just the right for you, maybe not for me.  But my dad is still  hanging in and feeling his losses with a clear mind.

I feel so lucky to be engaged with family and friends of all ages. Last weekend at Shalom I was clearly in the oldest group but never felt it for a minute, even when someone realized that when I graduated high school in 1967 she was two.  Maybe 20 years with you, a very young older man, allowed me to see beyond white hair, aging lines, slower walking…

I’m feeling clearer about  moving forward and yesterday as I walked up my hill after organizing  cd boxes in the garage, I felt you walking with me for the first time.  I felt eecummings- I carry your heart with me… I carry it in my heart.

I felt you with me.

I know, I sound better, even maybe on my way to actually feeling good…

I’m remembering the week I started getting ready for Cancun-excited to shop for a new cool bathing suit, new long silky dresses, a makeover with a new bag of cosmetics.

I’m  coming back and I’m taking you with me.

We’ll all miss you tonight Tuv,

Bonnie S.

 

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10 thoughts

  1. Happy birthday to your dad! He seems to be doing amazingly well for his age. You are sounding better. This is Bonnie with Tuvia in your heart and mind. Enjoy your evening with your dad. This time is precious.

  2. Must be wonderful to be born on St. Patrick’s Day, double fun. Happy Birthday to your dad, Bonnie. It does sound like a happy day. Family and friends are precious, agreed!

  3. Oh Bonnie, I don’t find your blog very often in that long list but every time I do I am so glad I got to read you. Your love is sooooo strong and I just cry and wish the best for you and find you such a model for living.

  4. happy birthday to your dad. I so feel in touch with this sentence you wrote about Tuvia: ” I felt you walking with me for the first time.” Today when I did the laundry, I put up the drying rack (for things that couldn’t go into the dryer) early, something Jack used to do to help. Bringing in that laundry, I felt his presence, and it was comforting rather than sad. Thank you for reminding me.

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