Letters to Tuvia#182 Last Night in Hoboken(3-20-16)

Morning T,

It’s back into the deep freeze with a call for a bit of snow late tonight.   According to the weather guys we’ve come to rely on, it doesn’t seem like there will be much snowfall but this is could be that last surprise from Mother Nature that we can always count on-the one you never wanted to believe could still hit.  Last year we had substantial snow fall in March, remember?

So last night we were able to celebrate Ron’s birthday with just the cold and no worry of snow.  Most of the day I was home, catching up with my computer updates, prepping for some editing work on videos Ive been sitting with. I was just enjoying my new living room. After a few weeks on the run it felt good to force myself to slow down and breathe on the couch.

An evening in Hoboken, as usual, and everything felt familiar.  Ami was here to supervise the delivery of the new window that will take up a whole wall in his new apartment.  Lots of prepping and just the frame arrived for phase one.  It was exciting to meet up at the old place and stroll over to get a look at the progress .  You would have loved it, just the opportunity to share it with Ami. We both wished that you were with us.

We met Ron and Leora at a Cuban restaurant closer to their place.  A small space, filled with a Saturday night crowd with high expectations that the meal would be great.  It was good for us, you, no we would have picked that place with you.  No bread and lots of seasoning.  But the cake, the dark chocolate extravaganza created by Leora now that you would have loved.  You would have refused to even share a slice with me. Wow!

Both Leora and Ron are building their culinary skills and I have been enjoying for both of us. It was a good night to be in the Rosenberg circle.   Leora is looking great and doing very well in the dog-eat- dog world of NYC business.  Smiling, right???

But the, as I said my goodbyes with Ami heading to the airport to get back home to Israel,   I headed  to my place just the way we always headed back to Paramus after a family evening in Hoboken. In this new world I live in  I had that spot on the Garden State Parkway to race thru- that spot where I used to  slow up, flip up  my right turn signal and take exit 165 to our house.  Instead I moved as quickly  as I could into the left land and sped away quickly.  It’s not yet natural for me to keep going, moving away from our Paramus home.  I wonder when it will feel right.   Maybe I hope it never is.

My question still: How do I create a life I really want without you?

I miss you T.  Ami misses you T. We all miss you, but we all know you can’t come back.

Bonnie S.

 

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10 thoughts

  1. Wow, that chocolate cake looks sumptuous, Bonnie. It must have been good! I don’t know the answer to your question, except you just keep going. Moving to the left lane as you drove past the exit is something you haven’t shared that you’ve done before, perhaps that’s a way, changing the path? It’s nice that you are close to Tuvia’s family, can be embraced by them and share memories, a good thing to do with others. Hugs to you on this Sunday, warming up, as I imagine you will be too soon.

  2. That’s the ultimate question isn’t it?
    As for my ride home another challenge
    I can’t turn off anymore at the house
    I don’t live there anymore and soon it will be sold
    That’s another tough challenge
    Lots of challenges
    Ugh

  3. Sounds like a lovely evening – and it’s great that you were able to see Ami off. Life is about meeting challenges and the unknown, isn’t it? And we figure it all out the best way we know how, and in the moment. That is all anyone can hope to do.

    • Yes I agree. Each individual challenge comes at us but as a whole, it seems to take time for the pieces to come together into a whole. For me it’s still in the garment stage.

  4. Your strength is strong in this letter, even in the honesty of your suffering. Keep stepping forward and making new memories!

  5. The cake is beautiful, as is this sweet letter to Tuvia who is dearly missed by all. Your letters are filled with such sweet memories and new challenges you face each day. Hugs!

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