So last night I sat close to the bar surrounded by old and new friends and we munched on apps and 1/2 price drinks as we talked together, taking another step forward in friendship.
After a day riding a high as I worked to understand what it means to accept this new life without you here, I woke up yesterday and raced to shower and dress and head down the hill to Strawberry Place for breakfast with a new friend I met at Shalom. I got there first and enjoyed, as we always did, that neighborhood atmosphere of the quiet conversations of locals, coffee overflowing from a familiar staff and the hum of early morning town activity. Ahhh, my town… Nyack!
Melissa arrived and we spoke together, recalling our weekend at Shalom. It was warm and lovely to share a meal with someone new. New… part of this adjustment… Yes, I’m working at this- this creating a new life. Check!
I had a block of time yesterday to deal with my computers at Apple… Hours of sitting in front of my screens making sense of Apple’s moves forward in the area of storage. They are moving away from that great deal they’ve offered for years to support customers becoming creators of media. We always knew that this could happen, that one morning someone in charge could wake up and wonder why they were being so gracious. It happened! They are phasing out their one-to-one program I took total advantage of and who knows what they will replace it with. No one at Nanuet Apple knows.
I worked with a great woman but she’s not my Tom, or Hank or Marysk but she hung in there with me to figure out the best way to hold onto my photo collection without overwhelming my hard drives. Yes, I still love I love learning about tech… and I’m back at it, ready for my new projects this week to fill big blocks of time for the next few days.
Back home, out of the wind, I had time to sit and catch up on the tragedy in Brussels and get ready for dinner with Jane and Michael, Rich and Oscar. I would be there as the 5th person- two couples and me… but after 20 years of us, I don’t see myself as the 5th wheel and that will make all the difference in this new world I’m trying to live in.
I have YOU with me!
I was not quite myself, maneuvering in this new world, I am walking, tiptoeing into it gingerly- trying it on at first. I’m comfortable to join this world cautiously. I am missing you at the table for six, still, not matter how many steps I take forward. I’m missing you by my side. Adjustment/acceptance: hard and messy. Good thing I’m not at it by myself.
Miss you T,