Letters to Tuvia#195: Snowing in April, Breathing on Sunday(4-4-16)

Morning T,

It’s Monday, April 4th and yes,it’s snowing out there- just enough to slow down the start of the day- snow day for schools more north.  Yesterday not only was there snow to start the day but serious winds and cold.  I stayed in my pjs for hours- enjoying a Sunday. Yes, you heard right, enjoying a Sunday  in pjs, working virtually on our online presence, shaping Tell It Digital for our audience of potential customers. No mourning tsunamis, no meltdowns, no fear of life solo.  I even paused for a Netflixs screening  of the latest version of Jane Eyre.  Hmmm… It was okay, but it didn’t hold my attention and found myself  yearning for the black and white Orson Wells version.

In the shower this morning  I was thinking about why March was so good and why April even with snow, feels like it’s going to be a good month as well.  You know, as much as it was a challenge to balance our life together with my  work and friends,  it’s a good thing that we worked at that balance, because I realize that that life was my lifeline.  Christine is my Tell It Digital partner, Andrea, Sharon, so many of my friends came from the work that I loved.  Duh! Tara…Jane…Linda, Elsie..more… and our families…and then there’s that hard work to pick myself up and keep moving…

I didn’t really have to start over, I just had to keep going.  I had what I needed, I just had to  accept the fact that I couldn’t have you with me living our life together… living here, living there. And then there’s the work and the reflection.  I’m not living in joy but I’m looking forward to the morning I can wake up with a smile and sweet T tears.

 

I’m sitting here with the Today show in the background,  waiting for my 10:00 guitar  lesson with Jon, wondering if  I should move my mamo appointment for tomorrow to another morning.  More snow is predicated. Bring it on!

No matter what I just wrote, T. nothing would make me happier than to hear you open the door below, and trudge up the 14 steps to my door. Nothing!

Bonnie S.

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6 thoughts

  1. I love this new realization:I didn’t really have to start over, I just had to keep going. I had what I needed, I just had to accept the fact that I couldn’t have you with me living our life together… living here, living there.
    Yes…a way to keep going…so important for you to know this.

  2. I echo Tara! The blended world you created with Tuvia was there to be your rock when you lost the rock you held onto for twenty years. I am honored to be listed. I only wish I could have done more for you.
    Snow is beautiful, but not so much in April. I am thrilled that this passed right by us. Enjoy your time nestled in with the blanket of snow. 🙂

    • What??? you have been such a good friend. I just wish we lived closer. The snow is gone already given that the rest of the day it’s been raining… and gloomy and I’ve spent another day inside with just a visit from my guitar teacher and I’m still at peace… So many toys to play with here 🙂

  3. I’ve been gone much of the day, and to find this good post from you makes the day just right, Bonnie. How can any of us know really what thoughts come and go when sadness happens? All the rest of us can do is keep sending you messages that we’re here and listening, and as you said, wish we all lived closer. That “just keep going” sounds right to me, and those twenty years with Tuvia will keep going with you, too. I guess you are having the storm we had last week, and it was cozy to stay in, but now in the 70s today, on its way to you again. Hope your day has been good as you predicted.

    • Funny, I’ve been inside for almost two days and I’m been very peaceful most of the time. Just too ugly out there to go out for the sake of going out. Guitar lesson early here and then I was happy to be in my space. I’ve been so much more peaceful. Thank you so much for your support. What I wonderful circle of friends I have. So grateful for that every day, Linda. That’s for sure.

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