I’m just about ready to get dressed and take a walk down to the bottom of the hill to vote at our polling center in the complex. But first I’m taking a moment to enjoy coffee on my very clean porch (your old job) and last night, just before Dancing with the Stars, I took time to move winter out of my closet and install spring and summer clothes.
I remember, months ago, dreading that move because you wouldn’t be with me for new seasons. I can’t say I’m exhilarated, but at least I’m accepting the fact that we have to prepare. New porch furniture will arrive next week, Hillary should win big tonight but no, I don’t think I’ll be adding too many new fashions to the piles in that closet.When I was using on of the bedrooms in Paramus, it didn’t seem like I owned an obscene amount of clothes and you always encourage my Chicos shopping, but that life is gone now and while I’m tearing up, I’m most okay with this reality. The house in Paramus is a hollow cave without you. Funny, but you’re more present here.
So my apartment is ready, I’m ready to cast my vote for Hillary, I am moving to appointments with Sandie every other week and seders are officially set for Hoboken and Ellenville. All I need is gas and energy.
One last thing to think about…
Thursday, April 21, marks 8 months without you. Maybe I’m still out of sync with the world, but I don’t have a sense of time without you. I can’t say that it feels like you’ve been away a long time or a short time. I just feel empty without you here.
I miss our togetherness, our ongoing conversation…
I can clean a closet, I can prep a balcony, I can make plans for a new business, I can meet with friends, I can read books, travel, write, go to a movie but how do I fill my life without an us ? Hmmm…
Miss you Tuv R,