Letters to Tuvia#215 I was so wrong (4-29-16)

T, it’s Friday night.  Got through yet another day without you and there were more good moments than the torturous ones but those moments of despair took me so far away that I wondered how I could come back.  I am sure you understand this feeling- when you were in mourning for Lydia and I know you are wishing I could be spared but we both know better.  You can escape mourning the loss of deep love. .

I was up early, showered and ready for Christine, who arrived with enough time to breathe, enjoy a cup of coffee and chat over our undercover plan to suck information from our competition.  We needed to know what he offers the different pricing levels. We made our way through our own version of our starter pricing… getting exciting.

Christine was on her way to a doctor’s appointment but there was still time to get our computers working on the promo intro most of the morning. Together we were patient, frustrated, moving slowly and talking about everything Final Cut. Christine took on a challenge to add animation to our logo. I kept working on my section of the intro. Yes, we are a good team even though she was hit hard waiting for a biopsy and the doctor’s concerns that she has a to wait a week to know more about.  Ugh! And I’m feeling sorry for myself?

I have learned that the weather is powerful for me.  Today the cold and clouds brought me down. It took everything I had to get off the couch and head down the hill to gather up so ingredients for apps with Jane and Michael, my dinner company for the evening.  We did sit together on my balcony, first guests of the new furniture.  But the cold brought us back indoors and soon out the door, and headed for our favorite Nyack eatery- La Fontana and it was a wonderful evening of love and conversation.  You would have loved it too.

I was sure I was moving ahead, coming back to myself moving forward.  But then, surprise, I was blind-sided and miserable again- another day this week and to think I was out of this  depression.  No way!!!!

No way!!!!

Life just can’t be the same without you.  Good to have Ami, Adi and kids here for the last few weeks, for Passover.  Love them!!!!

Bonnie S.

4 thoughts

  1. Hang in there, Bonnie, the void will never be filled, but you will continue to live a life rich with other loves. Love of friends, family, work, music, and creativity to name a few.

  2. Those ups and downs have been less, I know, Bonnie, but I also know that the “downs” will return, as you just discovered. I’m glad that you are on this new venture with Christine (wishing her well), & that does help. Hugs to you for more sunshine today than clouds!

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