It’s Sunday night and I have my candles burning around the living room. Can’t help but smile in the glow of candlelight even if it’s not for romantic effect. It just makes me glow. I need to feel the glow.
It was a tough week. I’ve been feeling stronger, almost happy but then I hit the wall of despair a few times this week, wondering just how I can live a full life without you.
I do like the fantastical idea of wearing an invisible layer of you around me- shielding me, anchoring me, supporting me, pushing me to stand strong for both of us. Sounds a bit strange but if it works, why not.
I have a good week coming with time here and time away with James, finally visiting his home in the Adirondacks. I should have been there months ago but it was just too far for me. Now it’s May and there should be no threat of snow(shouldn’t be) and I’m ready for the change of place and great non-stop company.
It was a dreary Sunday but breaking the silence for lunch with Andrea, well there’s nothing like turkey burgers and good conversation. So good!!!!
I was back home with dinner from the bottom of the hill , guilt driving me to pick up my guitar and prepare for my lesson tomorrow!!! Love that blast of guilt!
And I spent time beginning to watch the first two episodes of Season 1, Game of Thrones just as they begin their last season in real HBO time. I don’t think it would be for you. Not sure if I will stay with it, but Christine is hooked so I’ll be patient. Series need that.
I was supposed to head back down the hill for the new Tom Hanks movie and yes, if you were here with me, no question, but on my own, spending the rest of the day at home seemed to make more sense. I just hate rain, remember???
So T, another week without you. Ami and family are back home safe and sound,returning to their Israeli routine. Ami is moving along now with the work on his new place so he will be back again soon. Good for me 🙂
Love you Tuv R.
Life without you, not so good.