Letters to Tuvia #217:Creating a Sunday (5-1-16)

 

It’s Sunday night and I have my candles burning around the living room. Can’t help but smile in the glow of candlelight even if it’s not for romantic effect.  It just makes me glow.  I need to feel the glow.

It was a tough week.  I’ve been feeling stronger, almost happy but then I hit the wall of despair a few times this week, wondering just how I can live a full life without you.

I do like the fantastical idea of wearing an invisible layer of you around me- shielding me, anchoring me, supporting me, pushing me to stand strong for both of us.  Sounds a bit strange but if it works, why not.

I have a good week coming with time here and time away with James, finally visiting his home in the Adirondacks. I should have been there months ago but it was just too far for me.  Now it’s May and there should be no threat of snow(shouldn’t be) and I’m ready for the change of place and  great non-stop company.

It was a dreary Sunday but breaking the silence for lunch with Andrea, well there’s nothing like turkey burgers and good conversation.  So good!!!!

I was back home with dinner from the bottom of the hill , guilt driving me to pick up my guitar and prepare for my  lesson tomorrow!!! Love that blast of guilt!

And I spent time beginning to watch the first two episodes of Season 1, Game of Thrones just as they begin their  last season in real HBO time.   I don’t think it would be for you. Not sure if I will stay with it, but Christine is hooked so I’ll be patient. Series need that.

I was supposed to head back down the hill for the new Tom Hanks movie and  yes, if you were here with me, no question, but on my own, spending the rest of the day at home seemed to make more sense.  I just hate rain, remember???

So T, another week without you.  Ami and family are back home safe and sound,returning  to their Israeli routine.  Ami is moving along now with the work on his new place so he will be back again soon.  Good for me 🙂

Love you Tuv R.

Life without you, not so good.

Bonnie S.

 

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3 thoughts

  1. You probably know by now that words/quotes make me feel better. Such a little thing to put words together to make meaning for those who need it. This time I have one for you from RL Stevenson. He really did write a lot of good things. And this one connects to what I am feeling after reading your up & down words. I hope it touches you, Bonnie. “Let us rest ourselves a bit!/Worry? — Wave your hand to it –Kiss your finger-tips and smile
    It fare well a little while.” Just for the evening and the rain, with the candles. Hugs, Bonnie.

  2. The good moments seem to be outweighing the bad. Your new rhythm of life slowly becomes the new normal, even though this is not the path you would ever want to take. Enjoy your time away.

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