Morning T,
Could you see yourself sitting in one of those new chairs on my deck? Sitting in the darkness next to me on my love seat with my new LED lights flikering like candles? I wonder, though, if you were still here would there be new furniture on this deck?
But then, you’re gone… and I’m still here and, I was feeling peaceful, maybe not joyous, maybe not happy, but I did feel peaceful. I haven’t been at peace since we sat across the kitchen table 8 months ago for the last time, just before the house was invaded by outsiders who took you away when you were already on your way, away from me.
I’ve written often about that moment often. I can’t get rid of it, but our life together-big events, everyday life, yes, they remain with me… they make me smile, make me tear up, make me miss you, make me feel so blessed…
make me feel peaceful…
Yesterday…peaceful on my porch when I returned from Pier 1 with fresh pops of color to ehance the space…and I sat out there and read, and took deep breaths, and listened to Prince pouring out at me from the livingroom, and I itched to pick up my guitar and review my lesson.
Peace and energy… a very good combination! When I was away and watched James play his uke every day, I missed my guitar practice. Missed it!!!
It’s been hard to pick up my guitar without you here to listen, but I missed it when I was away and yes, even with a long ride home on Sunday, once I showered and unpacked, yes, I picked up my guitar after days away and I practiced for my lesson yesterday. Yes, I am feeling that familiar PEACE mixed with ENERGY and hmmm maybe a bit of my PASSION is returning…
Bonnie is returning…taking you with me…
Miss you forever,
Bonnie S.
Digital Bonnie 
Yeah for the Bonnie is returning mantra! Peacefulness surround you, Bonnie. Springtime is renewing your lens into life. Enjoy!
Yes!!!!
Love that you are finding yourself again. The outside space looks like a great retreat.
Peace snuck up on me. I didn’t remember it 🙂
I suspect that’s how peace rolls — a serene surprise. When we see it coming, it’s something else. Thanks for sharing these discoveries in writing as you journey, Bonnie.
I am so thankful you are sharing this moment of peace and being yourself again. This morning, I needed to read about this. I needed to remember that this will come for me.
It will❤️
Maybe spaces made new, like your porch, are helping you find peace, and bringing Tuvia into the space in a different way does not mean forgetting, but warmth of the good times past. I’m always speculating, wondering how this feels, how that works in the journey. Happy to hear about the guitar. There is a music thread touching many today in their writing. Interesting to see the connections among us.
Peace feels familiar on my porch today…exciting!
Love you outside space. I can see why you would feel peaceful there. Glad to hear that you are returning.
Thanks Bob. This freshening makes it a pleasure to spend time here.
Warm weather and a summer porch on which to sit. What a wonderful place.
YES!!!
Nice to see those fresh pops of color out there, Bonnie. They sure do brighten up your outdoor space!
Everything in the space is new except for the ring of women on the coffee table.
That porch is looking like it needs a visit from me soon!
You are always welcome. The seat of your choice… and a glass of good wine of course.
You carry so much from the past that was good, and yet you are fully participating in your present- the way you are sharing your journey is helping others, too.
Love that comment!!!
Ah, the Bonnie who still smiles – just in a new way. Sounds like you are happy to meet her.
I am👍🏻
Peaceful is good. This line, “I wonder, though, if you were still here would there be new furniture on this deck?” intrigues me. It was hard when the first ‘new’ thing entered my home and I thought, “Rob has never seen that. He’ll never see it.” New things are a physical reminder that life moves on whether we are peaceful, happy, sad, etc. In some ways there’s solace in knowing that the force of life of which we are a part happens regardless of how we feel.
Peaceful is good.
(BTW< the furniture looks great. Such bold beautiful color:)
I fought this for the longest time. The idea that I was moving ahead without Tuvia was so hard. But by the end of December (Tuvia died in August, I had to finally move out of his place officially and focus on like my apartment. Over the years we bought a used often a more functional set of outdoor furniture and if he were still here I don’t think I would have replaced them. He was very practical. But given this new situation, he would want me to do what I’m doing, I’m sure of it.
Peaceful yes, it’s familiar. I haven’t been here in some time.
Come and join me…
What a lovely spot to experience peace. May you experience more and more joy in the days and weeks ahead.
Thanks Bev, I hope so…
So happy to read of peace and passion returning to your life. I wish I could pop into one of those chairs and share some morning time with you. So inviting!
Come on 👍🏻