It’s very early, it’s hot and you woke me to look up, turn up the volume and watch Obama speak at the ruins of Hiroshima. If you were here we would be sitting together glued to the screen, kveling over our guy as he spends his last months in office able to end his presedency as he wants to be remembered, above the fray and insanity of Trump and now Bernie, desperate to stay in it.
Obama, yes I admit it, even though he moved down the wrong path in education, we were right in moving to him 8 years ago, when we sat together in Tel Aviv, crouched around my computer screen digesting his race speech. Yes, he is at his finest when he speaks, when he shares serious ideas. Can you imagine Donald Trump walking in his shoes. No, I’m serious, it could happen but I promise you, I will do everything I can do to make sure that doesn’t.
Memorial Day weekend begins today and no, so far I’m not headed to a barbeque. Maybe when I’m in Ellenville to see Herbie and stop by to see Helen and Paul there will be a hot dog with my name on it but I’ve lost my thrill of the grill. It’s ironic that for years I was the one who needed a barbeque on USA holidays: the 4th, Labor Day and yes Memorial Day. You, as a supportive partner and a passionte lover of the grill, was happy to make me happy. It’s funny though, in the last years you were the one who needed a barbecue, needed to be invited or have guests come to us andmunch together. I was my job to get on on the phone and make it happen. Funny, that you took up my passion isn’t it?
Hmmm… Last night as I sat with Jane and Michael and Hilda and Joe, we couldn’t help but think about you. I know that your passing has opened a conversation between Jane and Michael about life and death and wondering… can you prepare for it?
You, T. lived in the present… yes, you felt you prepared for life without you- you left a neat file cabinet, files filled with information, a will, deeds, family photos and offcial papers but there were more details missing. Yes, you told us you had a living will but it was in your head. Yes, I regret that I didn’t get you to share more of the details with me, but I respected your privacy and together we were only a couple here and now. Even three months before you left when we talked a bit about death… you looked at me” Hey, who says I”m going before you?”
A life well-lived my T. A life here on earth well-lived. That’s your legacy. A life well lived. That’s what I want…
Miss you on my porch, as the sun comes up, with a chill in the air, with the birds welcoming the day, sitting in these new comfy cushions that I take in at night and put back out after I hear the weather report. Here T, is where I’d like you to be right now…here…