Letters to Tuvia #244 The Coat of Tuvia I Wear(6-6-16)

Morning  T,

I  couldn’t wait to write this letter/slice last night.  I raced home from a great dinner with Jane and Michael, opened my Air and started. Thoughts raced onto the page but I knew I needed sleep to make them gel.  Not sure if it happened, but as I woke up and grabbed for my phone and read a new post from Mary Ann detailing her grieving journey,Covered in Stars I  understood more about my own. It’s amazing how this rich virtual instrument of pollination works.

Yesterday was close to a perfect day:

Coffee #1 on the porch. 8:30 guitar practice before my lesson.  A serious workout with Jon at 10 coming back to my old pieces,stronger than ever. A spontaneous solo walk at the river. The picture above on the left is one that you took, maybe the very first picture that you ever took of me and on the right-  a Selfie, this morning. with 20 years in between.

Back home, I had time for yogurt and strawberries and then off to the Regans  for a pow-wow with Danny,   offering  great suggestions for our business, and then a tour of art work  led by Trudy, created by both of them. WOW! Then just enough time to get to my second-ever Japanese dinner with Jane and Michael  where I started making sense of what I carry with me always.

Now that’s a full day inspired by you!  So much thinking  happened in between.

Here’s what I’m making sense of:

I wear you T.  I wear a layer of you as an invisible cloak (a la Harry Potter).   It’s not a coat of armour to fight off the outside world, no, this a Tuvia cloak. You propel  me out into the world.  Sure, I was  in the world before you, but now, I’m out there seasoned by your love.  I walk taller taking on new challenges, making eye contact when my eyes are teary, when they’re clear.

I shared this realization last night with Jane and Michael and as they asked for more clarification, the details rolled off my tongue. The power of our love nurtures me, protects me, fuels my confidence.  I am covered in your sweet kisses and to strangers I am lit up in…ready for it… JOY!

ahhhh…. life is  getting good again, T even though it will always be balanced with missing you in the flesh. Missing you on the porch, on the couch, in my/our bed.

AND…miss you here as Hillary was declared the first woman nominee for president of the USA!  We would have been celebrating last night.


Bonnie S.


If it’s Tuesday, it’s Slice of Life  at Two Writing Teachers.  Read more Slices here.11454297503_e27946e4ff_h

19 thoughts

  1. How wonderful to hear the joy in this post, Bonnie. Love the idea of the coat. It is there for comfort, warmth, companionship, – whatever you need it to be.

  2. After my father-in-law died, my oldest daughter got his sweater. She wears it often in the winter when we are all reminded of him and his warm love. We keep those we love with us forever. I love hearing the joy in your voice today.

  3. Your pleasure in the day fills me with hope Bonnie. This line “I’m out there seasoned by your love.” hit something and I ended up getting weepy, but it was a good kind of weepy. I think this is better than those feelings of desolation. This is how I feel about my mother. I carry her heart and her love with me everyday. Thanks for this.

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