Letters to Tuvia#259: Jazz on Friday Night (7-2-16)

Morning T,

Some letters flow with ease but others hit road blocks.  This morning I’ve been writing and deleting, writing and deleting.. trying to find that safe place of sharing with everyone else.  You of course can know it all.

I am in that tender place now- comfortable here in my refreshed home, comfortable with periods of silence, comfortable with sweet Tuvia tears, comfortable with routines created to stay anchored in this life, comfortable in this womb.

And there’s one more door to open slowly,  one creek at a time, tiny steps, taken gingerly.

Last night I joined Marie France and Don for Friday night Jazz just as a torrential downpour gave way to clear skies, just as I walked out into the fresh summer air. No need to even carry an umbrella for insurance.  All clear!

I was prepped: fresh Salon Elyse hair-do, make-up, new Chicos clothes- perfect for the evening ahead.

Jazz and Japanese food- something from the past, something of the unknown.  I walked through a door  new to me without you by my side. I know I have your blessing to be out making meaningful small talk with interesting strangers.  I know I’m better in this world because I wear you always.

It was a good dry run. You would be proud.

Miss you,

Bonnie S.

 

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8 thoughts

  1. You look great! Sounds like it was a successful evening filled with enjoyment of all things you like. All journeys begin with that first step. You are bravely stepping into this new life you did not ask for or want. Bravo Bonnie!

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