A dreary Sunday. A heavy head. The battle of the mind out of sync with the heart. I drive on familiar roads and I see flashes of us, just ordinary moments and I tense up as the battle begins. The heart grabs up the vision, the lovely vision and twists. My breathing grows shallow but I have learned to take hold and breathe deep to ward off the dismantling.
This sounds horrible, I know. But there’s power in finding the words to capture these moments that arrive without notice. This is not the sweet tears that you send each morning. No, this is grieving, even though we are coming to the end of our first full year apart.
But yes, if you’ve noticed in these letters I have been moving. Yes, I did sign up with Jdate and Match but waters still chill me. I’m not ready yet.
I am still with you, my love. Still with you.
Miss you on this dreary Sunday, T. You are my light.
BTW, Hillary was wonderful, up to the challenge and Eliana, at 2+ is commincating. Yes, there’s balance.