Letters to Tuvia#276:Eliana, Hillary and the Blues!(7-31-16)



Afternoon T,

A dreary Sunday.  A heavy head.  The battle of  the  mind out of sync with the  heart.  I drive on familiar roads and I see flashes of us, just ordinary moments and I tense up  as the battle begins.  The heart grabs up the vision, the lovely vision and twists. My breathing grows shallow but  I have learned to take hold and  breathe deep to ward off the dismantling.

This sounds horrible, I know.  But there’s power in finding the words to capture these moments that arrive without notice. This is not the sweet tears that you send each morning.  No, this is grieving, even though we are coming to the end of our first full year apart.

But yes, if you’ve noticed in these letters I have been moving.   Yes, I did sign up with Jdate and Match but  waters still chill me. I’m not ready yet.

I am still with you, my love. Still with you.

Miss you on this dreary Sunday, T.  You are my light.

BTW, Hillary was wonderful, up to the challenge and Eliana, at 2+ is commincating.  Yes, there’s balance.

Bonnie S.



4 thoughts

  1. This sounds like a rough day, Bonnie, and although your Eliana must have been lots of fun, perhaps the fatigue, too, caught up with your sadness. I hope the week ahead brings some goodness in the plans.

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