I jumped into Jdate and Match and no matter how often I click on the sites, and no matter how many male photos float by, not one of the images look anything like you and I click off, exhausted.
Instead, at lunch today I shared your life before me. As always I shared it with quiet pride, sharing your courage and resourcefulness to make the most of the cards you were dealt, living beyond expectations.
. You’ve never heard me tell your story but I am sure you would be satisfied maybe even think it was too much bragging. But telling your story elates me, keeps me positive-the best of the human spirit- the man who loved me.
Here on this first real adventure without you I am on my own. I sit with Sharon and our group and I force myself to stay present, focused, engaged.
And today as I tour windmills, climb steep stairs, move in and out of crowds, sit reading and writing in the lounge as the boat moves us closer to Germany, I am sure that you would have loved sharing this trip with me. As soft French music plays in the background, I’m tearing up without you…
I am not ready to turn my attention away from us. I’m not ready to fill your shoes. I don’t know if I will ever be able to replace those worn out shoes of yours,worn in our shared life.
What a man you were…What a spirit you are…