Letters to Tuvia Y2: Passover 2017 (4/1217)

 

Morning Tuvia,

Last night I rode home in silence without music, without news updates.  Just me and my thoughts.  Funny, after a full day of driving back from Hoboken, up to Ellenville, lots of eating and even a bit of wine( just a bit), the drive back home with windows cracked open and the road clear of traffic… it was good.

I couldn’t stay any longer and even if you had been sitting next to me, we both could have been out and headed home before dessert and part 2 of the seder.   But on my own I needed to get back in my car and drive in a reflective silence.

All through this month I’ve embraced silence to get me through unexpected obstacles in the road.  Missing you as I walked Hoboken streets with Ami and Adi. Missing you as I shopped for seders.  Missing you…

The hole remains even with good months.  Mourning you continues…

Miss you,

Bonnie S.

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6 thoughts

  1. I’ve missed some posts and hope you did have a good Passover gathering with family, Bonnie. Those special days are when those gone are missed even more. Best wishes for a good day today!

  2. I hope you don’t mind that I pop in and out of your letters reading some, missing some. Each time I do, I am reminded how special it is to love, and what a gift it is to all of us that you share your heart.

  3. That hole will never be filled. Occasionally a screen will be draped over it and other things will sift through, but it won’t be enough to fill it. Your heart was reshaped by this special man.

  4. Holidays, I think, amp up the feelings of loss. I think this is because we carry those who have died inside of us. In some ways I find that comforting. To love as we have and not,to feel would be odd. Wishing you peace, miles and miles wide.

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