Morning Tuvia,
Last night I rode home in silence without music, without news updates. Just me and my thoughts. Funny, after a full day of driving back from Hoboken, up to Ellenville, lots of eating and even a bit of wine( just a bit), the drive back home with windows cracked open and the road clear of traffic… it was good.
I couldn’t stay any longer and even if you had been sitting next to me, we both could have been out and headed home before dessert and part 2 of the seder. But on my own I needed to get back in my car and drive in a reflective silence.
All through this month I’ve embraced silence to get me through unexpected obstacles in the road. Missing you as I walked Hoboken streets with Ami and Adi. Missing you as I shopped for seders. Missing you…
The hole remains even with good months. Mourning you continues…
Miss you,
Bonnie S.
I’ve missed some posts and hope you did have a good Passover gathering with family, Bonnie. Those special days are when those gone are missed even more. Best wishes for a good day today!
I hope you don’t mind that I pop in and out of your letters reading some, missing some. Each time I do, I am reminded how special it is to love, and what a gift it is to all of us that you share your heart.
That hole will never be filled. Occasionally a screen will be draped over it and other things will sift through, but it won’t be enough to fill it. Your heart was reshaped by this special man.
I’m hoping that it will get easier
Holidays, I think, amp up the feelings of loss. I think this is because we carry those who have died inside of us. In some ways I find that comforting. To love as we have and not,to feel would be odd. Wishing you peace, miles and miles wide.
And back to you friend in this life without and with