Letters to Tuvia Y3/#sol18 13/31: Grieving/Healing

Dear T and Slicers,

I’m getting ready for a first: facilitating teacher workshops on grieving and trauma.  I think I’m ready, after 2 1/2 years of my own grieving and healing.

I was so cocky and so wrong. I thought I could handle life without you. I had no idea it was so difficult, so emotionally demanding, so fraught with despair.  I became someone I never knew before. I looked in the mirror when I couldn’t avoid seeing me and wondered who that depressed person was and would she always be the new me.  I had to learn patience, to be patient with the pain and emptiness I felt without you.

The first year  passed slowly,  then another 6 months… and then it was two years,:August 21, 2017…

I stopped writing to you every day. I  started smiling more and I felt a lightness. I was already in motion.. moving from a painful grieving to gratitude for “us”.

Sandie, my therapist, loved my letters and always encouraged me to do something with them. The logical outlet  was planning grief workshops as a way to support others in my shoes and teachers with grieving students- sharing the power of writing through loss to catharsis.  All my letters are there on my blog for the world to read, for me to return to now that I can embrace the life we lived, no longer tortured that we are in the past. I can celebrate our glorious past.

So on Friday I begin this new project.  Two 3 hour workshops at a school mourning the recent loss of a young high school  teacher who died in a car accident just after winter break. Writing out their own loss, sharing, creating a community of writers… considering how they might return to their classrooms with strategies to share with their students, creating their own communities of grieving.  I am feeling ready for this challenge. It’s time to pay it forward. It’s my way of saying thank you to you for our life together and to my community of supporters who kept me moving to this  healthy  place in a life that continues.

Tuvia, I hope you are smiling. I promise to  only share flattering pictures.

Bonnie S.

11 thoughts

  1. What a great idea, Bonnie. There were many times in my career that this kind of workshop would have been helpful. And I’ll bet, helping others through their grief will continue to help heal you.

  2. You have the voice of one who has been through this loss and worked to find your new place in the world without Tuvia. This will be powerful for the attendees but you too. This is important. You have much to share.

  3. This such excellent news from you, Bonnie, that you can reach out to help others. Not surprising, of course, and I hope you find a way to tap into your heart and extend outward. I know you will!

  4. What a powerful way to give back. When my mother died in 1991, I was fortunate to be in a grief group. I wished someone had talked with me about the power of writing during that time.

  5. This is a great way to use your experiences trying to heal and cope with other along the journey. I’ve been on a 2.5 year journey myself to recover from loss and I can assure you writing (even thought I cannot share it publicly) has helped me to stay alive and to grow stronger. Your workshop will be a gift for those who have lost.

  6. Your words give hope that grief can be coped with over time. So happy you will share what you have experienced and learned with others in need. Best wishes with this as you move forward.

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