Letters to Tuvia Y3/#sol18 3/21: Tough Writing Day on a Snow Day


Evening T,

Spring snow day.  4th Nor’easter in March and  PJs, all day.  Well, fresh pjs after  after a workout, after guitar practice, after Hebrew practice, after a shower  and  as the snow continues to swirl I’m drinking a bit of cran, a bit of vodka to soften the evening.

I was all set with Slice I created in my head yesterday as I returned to Paramus and our home turf to pick up a missing pottery tool at an impressive arts supermarket, right next door to an empty space that once housed a arty movie theater we came to know well together.  I left Blicks  with the right tool and cooler tool case. Not too much damage to my wallet but then the art supplies were not for me.   I had what I needed and I was sure I could stop for lunch at our favorite  lunch spot, the Suburban Diner.

I don’t go there often. Usually it’s to meet a friend but on my own, at a table I’m sure we used often, the silence was deafening. The staff was happy to see me, disappointed that I was there alone. Suddenly I wasn’t very hungry.  I was missing you, sitting across from me.

Yesterday nothing felt right without you

Lesson learned- Suburban Diner, you are  a part of my past. 😦

Yesterday the Suburban, today a snow day…

Missing you,

Bonnie S.

10 thoughts

  1. Sounds like you are set, a little cran, a little vodka, and fresh pjs. Hope your snow melts quickly so you can get back on track at the the school. Sorry the Suburban will remain in your past.

  2. Your posts haven’t sounded sad lately. But I wonder if the sadness ever really departs. My grandmother was a widow for 35 year, and she missed my grandpa all the time. But she had a happily, fulfilling life after he was gone. Also, luckily there is no shortage of diners in New Jersey!

  3. I don’t think I’m feeling sad but writing brings a mixed bag. Maybe not sad, but melancholy. I’m actually feeling peaceful. When Tuvia first died I thought a lot about dating but in time I just calmed down and got used to this life. Not bad. I’m so lucky to have had Tuvia for 20 years. Maybe he’s just enough for me.

  4. Sometimes we don’t realize something is in the past until we visit it and it no longer brings the joy of once did. Happy memories remain but New ones are waiting to be formed elsewhere. As for the snow…enough already.

  5. Your post resonated in my soul this snowy night. Sometimes, going back to the old shared spaces and places triggers memories Sometimes, even driving back to my old life causes me to feel sad! I’m certainly not a therapist, but I have decided it is OK to be sad or melancholy every now and then when those memories come flooding back. Peace on this a little bit snowy and melancholy day.

  6. Bonnie, your honest slices are such a gift. I feel that your posts are a guide to all who’ve lost loved ones. It’s okay to realize that some places can be part of your past. I love that you’ve had a total PJ day, complete with fresh ones after a workout. I’m a fan of PJ days. Hugs! Hoping your snow is gone soon!

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