#SOL19 27/31: A Love of Revision

I used to HATE rereading anything I had to write in school all through public school and college, actually.  Yes, there were isolated pieces that caught me and I worked at them but generally, my entire writing process was complete drudgery.  I loved school… all of it. I loved reading, discussing, thinking, socializing..teachers…everything about school, well not math too often… but I was a school Geek with no interest in being an English teacher… I was all about Social Studies… but the essay for anyone  was a walk on hot coals… and there was no personal writing-.. Wait- we did write editorials in 8th grade SS and some of my college English classes were isolated gems when I did care about my writing, but nope… not till I was 40 and wrote a piece about the worst teacher I ever had… that story was part of my oral history and I loved spilling it out onto a page so it could go public…I worked hard to capture that moment and then share it… with my writing group at Bard College and then for our celebratory evening… That was my beginning when I became a writer and wrote for myself…

and 30 years later I sit with my computer and create one version after the next…

Who could believe that I now relish the process of revision when I create a video…

Some of you might remember  this piece that I posted early in March, knowing that I’d be back to it and  it’s not totally done right now, but the missing pieces will arrive when my collaborator, Kim White comes  back down from his trek in the Himalayas. Yes, the Himalaya Mountains 🙂

I worked hours yesterday, happy hours, tightening, moving video clips and photos around, adding a voice over that Kim created for another piece and  I think works here as well… and now there’s a new piece up on You Tube, unlisted because we are still waiting to make it easier to donate to Road to a Better Life when Kim gets the official approval and we can launch the website… but for now… here’s a new version… less than 3 minutes now…

What do you think?  Notice any changes???  I love being in this process and to think where I came from….

Bonnie

10 thoughts

  1. Bonnie, I like what you have done here. Kim’s voice over really adds to the piece. I think that when something means so much to us revision becomes easier because we want it to be the best possible piece it can be.

  2. Bonnie, I do not know what your original video looked like but I really like how to prepared this video to create a mood and provide background knowledge about this special program. Introducing the wordless video first made the narration stronger. I was ready for the message of bringing kindness to others less fortunate than us. The personal piece from Kim about his mother was touching. Well done! I wish you both a successful venture.

  3. The original video already moved me. The new version kept all the important bits – the reason for this, the joy of giving and appreciative smiles.

    • There are changes that you don’t see but the big issue was adding a voice over from Kim. The one I used was actually for another video I’ve been working on but it works here too. Love the challenges… and I’m open to changing it until I reach a place where I am done… not yet…
      Thanks for watching it again birthday girl.

  4. This video says all that you need to say in a way that I will remember its message. The images and words, simple, yet they have staying power. So touching to see what a difference a walker or a cane can make. I would like to show this video to my students who come from different parts of the world.

  5. I also love revision–the playing around and rearranging, trying to capture the perfect rhythm, the perfect tone. It’s a message I try so hard to communicate to my students. I’m not sure they get it on my shift…

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