Where are we/I in this isolation?
I can’t remember when I wasn’t in isolation. Actually, no, on a Thursday in March (?19) in a conversation with my friend Agita, who calmly, casually announced that she, after a long conversation with her kids, was officially in self- isolation , I guess I had already been moving in that direction because I casually chimed in,
” Well, me too.”
I have been living a solo life for 4 years now and you know, it’s pretty good. I had lots of food in the fridge, the spring was coming, I discovered a great walking place close to my house and I knew we were heading for something very serious and life- changing and I was ready (?)
And then everything started moving in warp speed.
April 15, 2020: I have been writing every day, just keeping a daily document of my solo life My to do list for normal life has become my Want To Do List . And I include what I think about in this life without being face to face with another human being.
Of course, the world is never far away, not with my two laptops, my iPad, my iPhone, my land line and of course, ‘Old school”- TV… just outside my door there are 3 other apartments of people and even more in this complex so really I’m not alone even if i only see a handful on my walks…
Thank God I love I love where I live, I love my apartment , I love books, and writing and playing my guitar and exercising, and yoga, and cooking and eating (too much)… creating videos for good causes, learning Hebrew, working with my Hudson Valley Writing Project, nurturing our virtual community on Thursdays with writing and sharing. I Write into the day at 10am and out of end of the day at 10pm with my buddy Casey on Facebook… and course I communicate with family and friends- texting, phoning, zooming…
Honestly, I have everything I need to feel comfortable: to be stimulated mind and body, but it’s crazy… I have only two decisions to make- Do I go grocery shopping? Do I take a walk in my complex? Those are our only freedoms, right?
And I don’t know about you, but I have had a few melt downs… The first one came early on in this isolation, right after my first grocery shopping trip in terror, As soon as I unboxed I started feeling achy and dizzy and i was sure at that moment that I had the virus and wondered how I could get back in my car and drive to get a test. I was up at 3 in morning talking with my brother in Israel- he was up and we went through the symptoms and I didn’t have any although I couldn’t tell if I had temperature and I didn’t won a thermometer, but by the next morning my friend Jane made sure I had one and the monitoring began. By the afternoon I still felt achy but what I had felt familiar and I just dealt with it calmly until the chills let me.
And just last weekend, in a casual conversation catching up with a school friend, we wondered if schools would soon be permanently virtual. We often have this conversation but this time I was connected to it. What would that mean for me? In isolation throughout the summer? Fall? What????
I did get the advice I needed… Eat the Elephant…
No you can’t eat a whole elephant, it’s too BIG but you can eat him in small bites, one at a time… one day at a time… Just what I needed… got that and I calmed down and turned to yoga and breathing in and out… in and out…
So i’m okay… well I did polish off 1/2 a big bag of healthy popcorn tonight as I watched the Cuomo brothers do their routine on Chris’ Prime Time show on CNN… Go figure, I never miss the daily briefing on the virus from Andrew and as my Want to Do List seems to increase I feel like a runaway train sometimes….
I wonder how I will change from this experience… well I hope i stop eating before I have to get out of sweats and but on people clothes…
I wonder how you are dealing with this experience?